As a wedding planner, I am constantly working with my clients on their total design for the big day. This includes color coordination, florals, rentals, and any décor from the floor to the ceiling. But just like no two weddings are the same, I find that most of my couples are just as different. I could be working with one couple that has the perfect vision of every detail they want and the next day be working with a couple that doesn’t know what they want and gets overwhelmed just thinking about it. With so much inspiration available to couples via their phones, it’s basically sensory overload…especially if you don’t design events for a living.
For the couples that truly don’t know what they want, designing a wedding can seem like a daunting task. It is stressful enough not knowing the general cost of anything, but then not knowing what you need and worse, being clueless about what you want…well, that can turn any bride or groom into a zilla. I have had many couples sit in my office and tell me that they don’t have or don’t know their favorite color and we have designed a wedding that was truly “them”. I promise you, it can be done!
First and foremost, I find that those that don’t know what their wedding style is are the ones that don’t have just one linear style anywhere else in their lives. An amazing place for inspiration and one that I ask to see pictures of, is your closet. Clothing, no matter its importance to a person, will really give you a sense of what their style is. The couples that can’t figure out their style are the ones with closets full of clothes that look like they came from 57 different stores. It looks that way because that’s exactly what it is!
If you don’t know your wedding style and you can relate to your closet being a mixbag of random wardrobe selections, then look at the pieces that you wear to death. We all gravitate to 5-10 pieces of clothing more than anything else we own. Find those pieces and figure out why they are your favorites. Are they comfortable? Do you feel confident in them? What is it? Do they all belong to the same color family? If shoes are more important to you than clothes then use those instead! What do you feel most like “you” in?
In regard to color, I have many clients do the closet exercise and they come back and tell me that every piece they loved isn’t a “wedding” color. I think part of the reason couples can’t find their wedding style is because they are being told that only certain styles are acceptable. This is incredibly untrue and if a wedding isn’t a direct reflection of the couple, then it’s not designed well. You wouldn’t subject yourself and your guests to music you hated all night, would you? The same applies to your décor! Don’t flood the room with pink peonies because they are trending and everyone associates them with weddings. Likewise, no one ever said that flowers were mandatory at a wedding which means you can use something else entirely: feathers, trees, lanterns, etc.
Of course, there are endless photo galleries available online to give couples inspiration for their wedding day. Too often though, there are way too many photos gathered and pretty soon if you pieced them all together you’re looking at a safari wedding with pink glitter and an Elvis impersonator inside of a barn. Lots of pictures means lots of problems. Instead of scrolling and browsing through photos, learn the words that describe your style first and search for inspiration using those words.
If you find yourself falling in love with photo after photo, it’s important to figure out why. When my clients send me their Pinterest boards I always ask them what they like about the photo and why they pinned it. It is almost never the reason I thought it was because two people can look at the same photo and not see the same thing. Once you start recognizing what you like in those photos, everything will start to fall in place and work together.
Be careful not to design your wedding after a trend or use the same colors and flowers that are the most popular, unless you truly love what you are seeing. Countless times I will have a client show me inspiration photos of a color scheme I’ve seen 100 times before and they will ask for me to “make it different”. It’s not about taking a popular style and making it different, but rather, it’s about making it reflect you. However, that’s not possible if you like something just because it’s popular. This is why it’s so important to define your style in words before you start drowning in pictures.
Your home is a great place to figure out your style as well and it doesn’t matter if you are the next best house flipper or if all of your photos are in frames and still leaning up against walls. What colors, fabrics and textures are you using? What is your favorite piece of furniture? Is your home rustic and cozy or modern and chic? Pull inspiration from your home and even from home décor magazines to learn more about your personal style.
The trick to learning your style when you don’t even have a favorite color is realizing that you actually do have a favorite color…just don’t let the internet tell you what it is.